The holidays give you something phone calls can’t: uninterrupted time to really see how Mom or Dad is doing. Between cooking and catching up, you might notice things that didn’t come through over phone calls and video chats. Common concerns include weight loss you can’t explain, confusion that seems new, or a house that’s become harder to navigate safely.
These observations matter. Let’s talk about what to watch for and how to move forward when concerns surface.
What to Watch for During Your Visit
Physical Safety and Health
Look beyond the holiday cheer. Unexplained bruises, significant weight changes, or exhaustion that keeps your loved ones from normal activities deserve attention. When you’re with them in the kitchen, check for burn marks on pots or their forearms. Notice if loose rugs, poor lighting, or cluttered walkways create fall risks. More than 1 in 4 older adults fall each year, and each fall doubles the risk of falling again.
Medication management often reveals itself during longer visits. Duplicated prescriptions, missed refills, or an untouched pill organizer signal trouble.
Cognitive Shifts
Repeated questions, getting lost mid-conversation, or poor judgment with appliances can point to early dementia. Common signs include confusion with time and place or difficulty completing familiar tasks. One forgetful moment doesn’t define a pattern, but several across different areas do.
Social Withdrawal
If someone who loved hosting now avoids gatherings, or favorite activities no longer hold interest, take note. Sustained changes across multiple areas tell you more than an off day.
When Senior Living Makes Sense
Think about your loved one’s ability to handle their Activities of Daily Living (ADLs) on their own. When gaps appear in several areas (bathing, meals, medications, home safety, transportation), senior living can provide the support needed while preserving independence.
Your Tour Checklist
| Setting | Typical Support | Good Fit When |
|---|---|---|
| Staying at Home | Family help, grab bars, meal delivery, rides | Needs are light, safety risks are manageable |
| Independent Living | Services like housekeeping, maintenance, transportation, and on-site amenities like dining and fitness centers | Still capable of managing daily activities but interested in a carefree lifestyle with optional amenities |
| Assisted Living | 24/7 staff, discreet ADL help, medication management, housekeeping, transportation, home-style dining | Ongoing ADL gaps, fall risk, isolation, caregiver strain |
| Memory Care | Secured setting, dementia-trained staff, structured routines, sensory-calm spaces | Unsafe stove use, evening confusion, need for constant cues |
| Respite (Trial Stay) | Short-term, full services | Family needs caretaker coverage or wants to test the setting |
Quick Assessment: 5 Questions
Count one point for each “yes”:
- Has bathing, dressing, or toileting become difficult without reminders or hands-on help?
- Are meals irregular or mostly snacks and processed foods?
- Do medications get missed, doubled, or mixed up?
- Is the home unsafe due to clutter, lighting, or stairs?
- Is driving uncertain, especially at night or on unfamiliar routes?
Three or more points suggest it’s time to explore Assisted Living or Memory Care. Combine your observations with input from their doctor and a level of care assessment.
Starting the Conversation
- Align with key family members to avoid conflicting messages. Document what you’ve observed with specifics. Concrete dates and examples like “Dad’s fridge had five expired items on December 23” beat vague worry.
- Try gentle, non-confrontational conversation starters with your loved one to open the topic of them possibly needing more help.
- “I noticed the fridge has more expired items than before, and you seem worn out after cooking. How have your meals been going?”
- “You mentioned pills feel like a hassle. Would it help to have a community handle refills and reminders so you can focus on things you actually enjoy?”
- Schedule a primary care visit for a medication review and cognitive screening.
Take Action This Week
Address urgent concerns immediately. Repeated falls, medication errors, wandering, or missed critical doses need a same-week care plan.
Request a professional level of care review. Ask your loved one’s primary care team for a functional assessment based on ADLs and safety. Bring your documented observations.
Tour communities during their busiest times. Holiday schedules reveal a community’s culture and the level of engagement of its residents. Ask how staff handle medication administration, respond to falls, support overnight needs, and communicate with families.
Consider a respite stay. A short term stay lets your loved one test routines and meet neighbors without a full commitment. Many people experience better sleep and appetite with the structured support that a senior living community provides.
About Trustwell Living
At Trustwell Living, Family Caring for Family shapes how we welcome each resident every day. We match support to individual needs, offer engaging programs, and serve home-style dining that honors preferences and traditions.
Ready to talk? If your holiday visit raised concerns, we can help you explore options without pressure. Contact Trustwell today to learn more or schedule a tour. We’ll walk through your choices together with trust, compassion, integrity, and respect.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical, legal, or financial advice. It’s recommended to consult with a medical, legal, or financial professional for your specific circumstances.
